Listen, we’re going to let you guys in on a little secret: You can really put your commas anywhere. Grammar’s all a big sham.

Now, being a copy editor, I can’t completely agree with the premise. You should use proper grammar. People will judge you if your writing is full of errors and doubt your expertise.

While thinking less of someone for using a serial comma, for example, is completely silly, I have to know the correct rules. It’s my job. However, I’m not going to freak out if I read something with a comma before “and” unless someone’s asked me to edit it. Even then, I won’t freak out. I’ll just remove the comma.

Still, rules change. As I mentioned in the previous post’s comments, cellphone and smartphone are written as one word again per AP Style. The stylebook may change a word or go back to an original use. You have to pay attention.

Until the Wall Street Journal’s prediction comes right —

English will eventually evolve into a language without vowels, as they will be entirely replaced by the letter h: Sthrt prhcthchng yhhr vhwhl rhmhvhl skhlls nhw hnd hmprhss yhhr frhhnds.

I will do the best I can to bring grammar back into vogue.

And if all our vowels disappear? I will be one step closer to reading Hebrew.

(Guess we should have known that columnist was just testing to see whether there would be any reaction to email.)

Still, I doubt I will ever like writing email without the hyphen. Writing “email” just looks wrong, and yes, I realize I wrote the exact same thing when I posted how Web site changed to website. I actually think that change was necessary. That’s not the case with email — electronic mail. We still use e-book and e-business, right?

Lest you think I’m just being a meanie to the AP Style gurus, I am a big believer in buying the stylebook, especially the online version. It’s essential. How else could I learn so quickly that hotline is now one word, and then correct an editor? Ha. Originally, I had wanted a hard copy in case, like, the power went off, and I had to work off-grid. Yeah, that hasn’t happened yet. But maybe in 2012. I hear there’s an apocalypse or something.

So, copy editors, just to reiterate: Even though email looks wrong (and is, in my opinion, wrong), we just have to suck it up.

Throw small projectiles at your copy editor now and then. A jumpy copy editor is an accurate copy editor.

Huh. So that’s why we used to throw those Florida Press Club stress balls at each other all the time!

I scored 10 out of 10 on Poynter’s “Take the Quiz: AP Stylebook or Fake AP Stylebook?”

Then I read how those changes came about in this column. (I’m with her until she argues that e-mail should be email. Ugh, just writing that looks wrong!)

H/T Bonnie for the AP Stylebook Quiz and Dr. Wilber for the press release about the new Stylebook. Coincidentally, both published those links on social networking giant Facebook.

“The correct spelling of “vampire” is “Robert Pattinson” because he’s soooo dreamy.”

Gotta love these spoofs. Check more out at Fake AP Stylebook.