(H/T Bonnie)

Obviously, this reporter has been a copy editor, or rarer yet, a sympathizer:

Still, Lowe, a relaxed conversationalist with an easy smile and blue eyes that really pop in person, stressed he had no political goals in mind while writing “Stories I Only Tell My Friends” (which, if he’d had a strict copy editor at Henry Holt, would have been called “Stories I Tell Only My Friends” — and, really, is that “Only” even necessary?).

Love it!

Remember the story of how my mom informed our town that she was very disappointed in the “Smile, Your on Radar” signs? Weird Al was also not amused when he saw this sign.

Listen, we’re going to let you guys in on a little secret: You can really put your commas anywhere. Grammar’s all a big sham.

Now, being a copy editor, I can’t completely agree with the premise. You should use proper grammar. People will judge you if your writing is full of errors and doubt your expertise.

While thinking less of someone for using a serial comma, for example, is completely silly, I have to know the correct rules. It’s my job. However, I’m not going to freak out if I read something with a comma before “and” unless someone’s asked me to edit it. Even then, I won’t freak out. I’ll just remove the comma.

Still, rules change. As I mentioned in the previous post’s comments, cellphone and smartphone are written as one word again per AP Style. The stylebook may change a word or go back to an original use. You have to pay attention.

Until the Wall Street Journal’s prediction comes right —

English will eventually evolve into a language without vowels, as they will be entirely replaced by the letter h: Sthrt prhcthchng yhhr vhwhl rhmhvhl skhlls nhw hnd hmprhss yhhr frhhnds.

I will do the best I can to bring grammar back into vogue.

And if all our vowels disappear? I will be one step closer to reading Hebrew.

(Guess we should have known that columnist was just testing to see whether there would be any reaction to email.)

Still, I doubt I will ever like writing email without the hyphen. Writing “email” just looks wrong, and yes, I realize I wrote the exact same thing when I posted how Web site changed to website. I actually think that change was necessary. That’s not the case with email — electronic mail. We still use e-book and e-business, right?

Lest you think I’m just being a meanie to the AP Style gurus, I am a big believer in buying the stylebook, especially the online version. It’s essential. How else could I learn so quickly that hotline is now one word, and then correct an editor? Ha. Originally, I had wanted a hard copy in case, like, the power went off, and I had to work off-grid. Yeah, that hasn’t happened yet. But maybe in 2012. I hear there’s an apocalypse or something.

So, copy editors, just to reiterate: Even though email looks wrong (and is, in my opinion, wrong), we just have to suck it up.

A road contractor hired to paint the word “school” on a freshly paved stretch of road near Southern Guilford High School in North Carolina rendered the traffic area in question a “shcool” zone.

They’ve apparently fixed it now, but trust me, we “typo hunters” can count on more errors to come. That’s the way of things.

Several years ago, my mom upset the City of Bushnell by telling officials that the new signs — posted all over town — should read, “Smile, You’re on Radar” (instead of “Smile, Your on Radar”).

Spend those few extra bucks hiring a proofreader, folks. Trust me, we’d love the extra income.

Not surprisingly, I love looking for typos.

The author of the book makes a great point:

Typos cloud communication, which is the primary purpose of writing. If your text has typos, it’s going to take your readers longer to read it. If typos get in the way of your text, it’s going to cause a problem, especially today, where you often only have a second to grab your reader’s attention. It can also be a warning sign that whatever text you’re looking at was created by someone who might not be paying that much attention.

Can I get an amen?

Seriously, if I see typos, I think: Low credibility. I don’t like having to read over a passage again and again. I’m not talking about speakers of English as a foreign language making mistakes— often, I find non-natives have better English — or the occasional mistake. It happens.

But if you see nothing wrong with these phrases, others may not take you seriously:

“Me and I so-and-so bought…” So-and-so and I bought

“They was…” They were

“I would of” I would’ve. I would have

Once you realize your sore points or someone calls you out on it, it’s amazing how often you notice others making the same mistakes you did, and in the case of spelling bees, you never misspell that word again!

I can’t enjoy “The Way I Are” by Timbaland just because of the grammar. Hearing The Black Eyed Peas singing, “Imma Be,” (which always sounds like “I’m a bee,” to me) is another offender.

I often wonder how many kids will think those are normal to say. In college, when I was hanging out with certain friends, for example, I noticed I said “be” too often. I had to be vigilant not to continue because what you hear CAN creep into your usage.

It reminds me of my last night in London, where to my horror and my best friend Jessica’s, we spotted BAD ENGLISH.

Staff Are Not ALOUD (sic) In The Kitchen becomes Staff Are Not Allowed In The Kitchen.

It was in a restricted area, but I braved it. I wouldn’t be a copy editor otherwise.

This wasn’t my last foray into Grammar Police territory. Oh no! Earlier this week, I had lunch with fellow copy editor Rich at a delicious but spelling-challenged restaurant. I had to fix “lucious” into “luscious.” Naturally. However, I didn’t take a picture of it. I do want to eat there again

What spelling/grammar errors drive YOU nuts? Have you ever changed a sign? If so, you might just be a candidate for Grammar Police!

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

(h/t cranky_editors.)